iPhones ... I mean Brains ...

Straight out of the land of “Someone Got Paid to Do This” comes the mathematical apocalypse known as When Zombies Attack!

A team of mathematicians from the University of Ottawa have taken the time (and money) to calculate how fast the spread of undead will occur should the popular doomsday scenario outbreak begin (finally!).  It’s not all bad news though as they have also determine a possible solution to stave off certain doom.  Turns out it’s quick, aggressive attacks, just like I keep saying.

In an attempt to make this sound like something more scientific and less like they are just pissing away money, the Ottawa team feels that this research can teach us something about the spread of infectious diseases.  You know what else teaches us about the spread of infectious diseases?  The study of infectious diseases … the real kind.  Go figure.

The paper’s subtitle is “Mathematical Modelling of an Outbreak of Zombie Infection” changed shortly before publishing from the more accurate “How to F–k Off And Get Paid With Mathematics”.